REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

Submitted by Barbara Ritsch

. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'

My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'

My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'