Submitted by Barbara Ritsch
Marriage changes passion ... suddenly you're in bed with a
relative.
I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just standing up fast.
I don't approve of political jokes ... I've seen too many of them get elected.
If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys. But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades...THAT'S A MESSAGE!
I married my wife for her looks ... but not the ones she's been
giving me lately!
Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
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